So I’ve realised that it’s very common to mistake a film geek and a film snob.  Sometimes it’s darn near impossible.  Some may say that the general rabble that head out to the theatre week to week to watch the drivel that they show are lesser men to those critics and film connoisseurs who think they know better.  So here I am teaching the regular film rabble how to handle their own in my new weekly column when posed with the threat of discussing movies with a film snob.

This week, with the release of Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes let’s take a look at the world of Detective films.

So as usual let us imagine that you’ve just left the box office and paid for your ticket to go see Sherlock Holmes. You’re pumped to see Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law go fist to cuffs with Mark Strong and somewhere in the middle Rachel McAdams will appear in a corset that you will definitely remember for one reason or another later that night.  However, on your way to the concession stand you notice a dreary image in your proximity.  It is your local critic who hated that blockbuster you paid to see four times in the theatre and he’s waving to you.

Step #1 – Talk about how detective films played on suspense as opposed to thrill rides (Chinatown (1974) (dir. Roman Polanski))

With the acting giants Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway in a tale of adultery shifting to murder and conspiracy how could you go wrong.  Let him know that films used to be about figuring out who done it before the character in the film does.  The movie not only gave you the drama of this relationship between Evelyn and J.J. but once big businessman Noah Cross comes into the mix you can’t help but want to hit someone.  One of the charms of the film is that it always accepts itself, even in the end when he has no choice in to give up because it’s Chinatown.

Step #2 – Tell him how they can be awarded for acting from critics and the Academy (Silence of the Lambs (1991) (dir. Jonathan Demme))

If you think to yourself for one second that Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster spent their days twiddling their thumbs while considering what kind of beans Dr. Lecter ate with his doctor’s liver then you are sorely mistaken.  This movie is acting gold and if it hasn’t yet put your film snob into the corner of ring.

Step #3 – Tell him about when detective stories talked about racial prejudice (In The Heat of the Night (1967) (dir. Norman Jewison))

When movies were movies and when black people really weren’t liked in the south.  After Mr. Tibbs (he prefers that) is picked up and arrested for being black on the wrong side of the Mason-Dixon Line.  Eventually he shows everyone what a set of racist punks they are and saves the day and makes the head of the police department rethink his thoughts about the whole racial issue.

Step #4 – Tell him about the amazing resurging noir detective genre (Brick (2006) (dir. Rian Johnson))

Here is the movie to clinch your argument.  At this point Mr. Film Aficionado will have no choice but to concede defeat.  The film not only brings in elements of mystery but fun high school dialect that makes it an unbelievably wonderful watch.  The film is dark and at mysterious and at the same time never seems to hold time and time again.  It also won the Special Jury Prize at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival which gives your argument some indie cred.

So after completing this attack on Mr. Snobbery he will be left in a sudden state of shock.  During this time you quickly shuffle away before he sees you and you find your seat and enjoy the heck out of your action movie and leave with a smile on your face.

Make sure to tune in next week for the next guide for Handling a Film Snob.

Let me know what you think of this feature in the comments below or via email.