Joe [Nicholas Cage] is a highly skilled hitman who is heading to Bangkok to do his final job. There he befriends a smalltime hustler, Kong [Shahkrit Yamnarm], who he contracts as his personal messenger. Joe is contracted by some Asian gangsters to take out four targets and we follow him as he completes these tasks.

Here is another contender for one of the biggest waste of two hours for the year of 2008. I mean I think I would rather go out to the park, sit on a bench, and count the amount of dogs that will squat and poop in the grass. Nicholas Cage has been one of the biggest wildcard actors for me, since he seems to do an array of movies where it can be good, bad, fun, or even complete rubbish. A year earlier he was in the fun filled sequel to National Treasure and a few years previous was in the amazing movie Lord of War, and then he decides to even it all off with crap like this and Next. So Cage being the lead in the movie is never a 100% indicator as to what kind of movie you’re in store for when you sit yourself in the theatre, or like me pick it up on DVD.

Oxide Pang Chun & Danny Pang decided to come back and retell the story that they told not nine years earlier except with the dialogue being mostly in English. I don’t really understand what these directors are thinking when they come to do the same movie a second time except only in English, just like Michael Haneke did with Funny Games. I always imagined these people as artists, who do things for a reason, and I don’t consider a pay cheque as a reason, and that reason is usually that they have an idea to convey to us completely unimaginative beings who sit down and like being drawn into this world created in the artist’s mind. However instances like this [and Funny Games] proves that this deluded image of what a director is completely wrong. I have been trying for the last six months to see the original version of this movie with no success, so I’m unable to say that there is a good version of the movie around but I can say that this isn’t it.

The most laughable aspect of the movie has to be the relationship between Joe and this deaf girl who works in the Pharmacy. I think that filmmakers need to stop filling the cut with these unnecessary love interests that they think they must have. I don’t know who came up with this film formula which said that there must be the love interest in every movie. I mean I know some say that 99% of the things men do is for a pretty girl, but c’mon. When does some American waving his hand about his face meaning that the food is too peppery for him in anyway attractive, especially when the girl can’t hear him and even if she could she probably wouldn’t understand him anyways.

The final aspect of the movie which is open for conversation is the messenger. Kong plays the role of the tool being used by Joe so that he is allowed to keep his anonymity from his employers and targets. Also, when the movie opens we get to see Joe on the tail-end of his last job and at the end of that he kills the guy who is being his tool like Kong is here. I’m sure it isn’t a surprise that Kong’s relationship with Joe doesn’t end the same way that the other guy’s ended in the beginning of the film. The movie starts out with Joe explaining his four rules that he knows he needs to abide by so as to leave his work without a problem, and like the Joker said “well that’s the rule you’ll have to break” all because of these RIDICULOUS relationships that I’m tired of seeing.

So this is me saying that this movie should join the Atari E.T. game in a big hole in the ground in New Mexico. I’m still going to watch more Nick Cage movies, especially with Kick Ass being one of his new movies for 2009 but I still fear his horrible performances. However, my plea to Hollywood is to stop having people remake their international movies frame for frame with English speaking actors because it sucks.

IMDB says 5.4/10

Rotten Tomatoes says 9%

I say 2.5/10