God has lost faith in mankind, and so he decides to end it (like he’s done in the past).  Michael [Paul Bettany] is an angel that hasn’t lost his faith in men.  He decides to go to Earth and make sure that man’s one and only chance of surviving is born.  Michael comes to Paradise Falls (a diner in the middle of nowhere) and help a bunch of random people live through this apocalypse that the Lord himself has ordered.

What do you say about an action movie that you didn’t like any of the action scenes in it?  I tend to imagine that counts as an all around failure on the part of the writers, director and the actors involved.  But then I have to ask myself, what makes a good action scene?  Is it the crazy things that happen or your understanding of what’s going on?  When a director either fails to peak my interest with each and every scene isn’t that a failure?  I felt like Legion spent too much time trying to hype up this whole ‘end of the world’ prophecy that Michael was here to help avoid rather than actually trying to make me jump out of my seat by trying to end it.  And even when they actually tried to end the world with a clash between the goodies and the badies it was so drab that you didn’t care.  For the few scenes that we actually had a bad guy up in our face (like with the old lady that you see in the redband trailer) we are treated to another six that involved the crew just shooting from a distance and realizing that they didn’t need to leave their perfect rock.  So when the film started to wrap itself up and we finally had to leave the cocoon I found myself so interested in seeing them trying to get out, they decided it best to stay inside with one of the most inconsequential fight scenes I’ve seen in a while.

So here is the next question I have to ask myself: what did I actually like about this movie?  I find myself lacking words when I attempt to answer this query.  I didn’t like anything about this movie.  I liked that it eventually ended and therefore ended my suffering and torment.  Dennis Quaid, an actor that I know plays a lot of bad parts I tend to somehow enjoy watching on screen anyways, plays one of the flattest roles I’ve ever seen him do since he was in The Rookie (2002), and I can’t say much for anyone else in the cast.  Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Adrianne Palicki and Charles S. Dutton all felt like actors who knew their movie sucked so they didn’t even bother to try, or the writing was just that bad.

This movie is a bad movie.  It is not worth your ticket fee or even worth the time it takes to sit down and make fun of it with your friends when you find yourself stupid drunk one night.  Please don’t watch it.

IMDB says 5.4/10

Rotten Tomatoes says 18%

I say 1.0/10