Time has passed by and Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Mulder (David Duchovny) are no longer involved with the FBI. A FBI agent is attacked and missing. Father Joseph Crissman (Billy Connolly) comes to the FBI claiming to have a psychic connection with the agent that is missing. The FBI finds Scully and Mulder asking for their help in solving this case. And here we go…

Now I used to watch this show when it first started on FOX; I was about 8 and I was a big fan. But just like with anything I watched when I was that age I grew out of it and looking back it was one those things I was happy I left behind. I did not go back this time, trying to connect with the source material to compare with how it would match up against the movie, and I’m happy I didn’t. Because this movie is exactly what I expect the TV show was; and that isn’t exactly a good thing.

I’m only pissed because I’m sure this is why I’ve had to wait so long for the second season of Californication, it’s all Xzibit’s fault [as far as I’m concerned]. If he didn’t bother Mulder in the middle of nowhere, the story wouldn’t have happened and the Duchovny could’ve spent his last few months doing Californication instead of this space saucer shaped turd of a movie.

The movie definitely got the relationship right between Scully and Mulder, which is to be expected since the movie is written and directed by Chris Carter [the same guy who did the same thing for the original show]. Mulder plays the role of the guy who looks for reasons to believe in the paranormal, while Scully plays the one who is searching for reasons to disbelieve in it. And I loved that they had these new agents in the FBI; Dakota Whitney (Amanda Peet) and Mosley Drummy (Xzibit) which seemed to me to be basically a mirror image of that relationship between Scully and Mulder. Amanda Peet playing the believer and Xzhibit being the non-believer, the only difference is that Xzibit is a lot more extreme with his skepticism, which is what I imagine Scully was like when they just started doing the show and we’re partnered up.

What the movie did horribly wrong is it was made. Even though the relationship is there, this is a show I don’t think should ever have been made into a movie. It feels like a waste. The show starts, and something happens, and then Mulder & Scully are on the case. Mulder thinks its aliens, while Scully thinks it’s a regular criminal case. And either it’s proven/disproven and then it is never as ridiculously alien like as they thought it could be. Just like this movie. Hence there is no real need for the feature film version, other than it makes more money this way [maybe].

The only thing non-human about this movie is the fact that the character Billy Connolly plays is psychic. And it is so boring in how the story pans out. Over the period of 100+ minutes you will be able to see the plot be shrugged forward as energetic as a slug in a drag race to make it to the other end of your porch. I mean throughout this movie all that will happen is Scully and Mulder get into an argument about why Mulder is blindly believing, then Crissman has “a vision”, and then they run around like they have no clue what they’re looking for, you start to doubt the vision, then it comes true by the end [in a sense]. And then the “twist” at the end isn’t really a twist, just a logical end that if you knew the full story you would logically have guessed was going on. So you don’t even feel like the writers gave you any form of satisfaction from sticking around with this boring dramatic suspense movie.

However, with all my X-Files bashing above I must say that this movie was exactly what I expected. Therefore making me feel that true diehard fans of the series may just like the movie and there are a few cool things, which I would talk about but are technically spoilers, so leave it out. But the cool things are so small and forgettable that overall I cannot recommend this to anyone who isn’t overly enthusiastic about the show.

IMDB says 7.0/10

Rotten Tomatoes says 34%

I say 5.0/10