I was looking forward to this movie. Not with unfounded high expectations, but just as a fun light hearted comedy with Rainn Wilson being a ridiculous character. However, I will not be reviewing the film. For the reason that I spent approximately 20-30 minutes of the play time complaining about the product.

So we, my older brother [Douglas] and I, arrive at the theatre on time. The Rocker was released this Wednesday gone at Carib, and it is only playing at 5:30 and in Aud. 5 [one of the two smaller theatres]. I always get annoyed whenever I have to watch a movie in one of these smaller theatres, since for some reason that I cannot explain they never open the curtains 100%. So you are seeing some of the movie projected on the curtain, and it annoys me to no end. Since the theatre was pretty much empty [probably 10-15 people were at my showing] I decided to call one of the ushers into the theatre and show her that they haven’t opened the curtains and asked them nicely if they could open them. The usher went and spoke to someone. She returned saying that the curtains cannot open any wider and the reason that the film is being shown on the curtain is that the movie is filmed at a certain aspect-ratio This therefore means they have to project on the curtain as well so as to show me the entire picture. I know this is utter BS but I sigh and remind myself why I love Jamaica and hate Carib all in the same breath. At least I’m not at Ciniplex [long story].

So I let it slide and watch the movie. After the first reel change, I realize I’m hearing the audio skip. I think to myself whatever. Then it skips again a few minutes later. I start to get worried. Then during a period of 3-5 minutes I hear it skip about 10-12 times [I lost count]. Once again I rise to my feet and speak to the usher. She is sitting in the theatre watching the film with us this time. She claims that she didn’t hear anything but says she will talk to someone. As she is leaving the room to look about my complaint another patron [who I am informed works at the theatre] comes up and makes the same grievance as I did. I walk outside with the usher and talk to someone [who I assume is the manager, I didn’t get a title]. Mr. Clarke makes a phone call to the projectionist, who also claims that he sees nothing wrong. However, the projectionist says that he will make sure that nothing is happening now or will happen in the future.

So once again, I calm myself, return to my seat and attempt to enjoy the movie. Not even a minute later the audio continues to skip. Now I’m ready to start a full on argument between me and the manager. My brother tells me to give it a little time and calm down again. I do, after the next reel change [3 – 5 minutes] all is fine again and I continue to enjoy the film.

After intermission the skipping continues. Now my brother gets up himself and makes his own complaint with the usher, who takes him outside to Mr. Clarke. Mr. Clarke does the exact same thing as when I complained to him, and says that the projectionist will fix it. The audio continued to skip along like Little Red Riding Hood on a playful day through the forest.

At this point I gave up knowing that nothing I said or did would change the fact that these people don’t give a damn. I’ve paid my money already and I don’t live in a developed country where they understand that the costumer is right. They just know that if they don’t claim fault, and pretend everything is alright, and also never attempt to offer any form of compensation for this abysmal product they just sold you that no one will do anything. It also helps that 90% of the people in the theatre just suck it up and never do anything about it. I really hate this part of my country’s mentality. That the consumer is there to be abused and should just hand over the money and hope and pray that they receive something they find worth the dollars spent. And then Palace Amusement and Carib scratch their heads over why people pirate so much. I’ve seen people sell bootleg DVDs on the opposite side of the street from the theatre.

Sad, sad days when the legal alternative to something is so horrible that it pushes people to the illegal. Why can’t the theatre get the point and make their product presentable and stop the bullshit? Why can’t I get to sit down and watch a movie without being taken out of this imaginary world that I’ve paid my hard earned dollars to see? And then why is it people want to arrest me if I pursued alternative methods to gain the experience I am seeking? The world is topsy-turvy and I hope that one day soon it will be put the right way around. I love going to the movies, but not if it means experiencing this every week.